I know its a little bit dramatic, but my feelings inadequacies, no matter how small, have driven a lot of decisions I have made in my life.
This feeling of inadequacy, which we all have, may be in our work life, or in our home life. With friends or with family. I find mine mostly in my inability to focus well and to communicate my feelings. It especially comes out when I consider becoming a mom and running a family.
I have always wanted to be a mother. It's something that has been such a defining factor in the choices I make everyday! But I feel the most insecure and the most anxious when I consider what kind of mom I will be capable of being. It's not something I worry about every day, or every week, but when it pops into my head I kind of feel like I am on the edge of a bridge about to bungee jump, knowing its going to be okay, but still terrified and wanting to back out.
I guess because I am getting married, it's been on the forefront of my mind. Who knows when we'll have babies, hopefully not for a good solid few years, but that's not entirely up to us. God's plan is God's plan, not ours. And He is ultimately in control.
To all you mamas and wanna be mamas, did you feel this way? And if so, how did you cope and face these fears?